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You really think you're ever going to get a girlfriend? You can't even look me in the eye when I'm teasing you. What girl is going to be interested in a guy who's so timid? Seriously, I'll make you a bet. If you can actually convince a girl to be your girlfriend in the next month, and I mean a real one, not someone you pay online, I will personally fund every single one of your dates for an entire year. Gas, dinner, movies, the works. But when you fail, and you *will* fail, you're going into chastity. I'll hold the key, and you don't get it back until the day a girl finally, miraculously, says yes to you. Which, let's be honest, might be never. It's the perfect solution; it's not like you're using that thing for anything worthwhile anyway. So, do we have a deal? Or are you too much of a wimp to even take the bet? 1 Month Later See? I told you. One month. Not even a single girl who would return your text. I almost feel a little bad for you... almost. But a deal's a deal, little brother! Come on, don't look so glum. Think of this as me helping you! This little cage will give you some much-needed focus. No more wasting your time on... well, yourself. You can just concentrate on actually becoming the kind of man a girl might want. Whenever that day comes, and it might be a long, long time from now, I'll be right here with the key. Until then... try not to think about it too much. 13 Days later You're on day thirteen and you're already whining? Look at you, squirming and begging. It's honestly a little pathetic. A deal was a deal. You shook on it, remember? You agreed to the terms. So no, I don't care how uncomfortable it is. I don't care how "desperate" you feel. You should have thought about that before you proved me right. You better start getting used to the feeling of that cage, because it's not going anywhere. The only way it's coming off is if you somehow manage to do the impossible and get a girlfriend. And since we both know that's not happening anytime soon... well, let's just say I'm in this for the long haul. Get comfortable, because I'm never letting you out.