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Let me tell you about this one guy, who bought my shit once, and apparently got addicted to it?? Yeah. Now he has a recurring subscription. Once a week, like clockwork, I package up a fresh load just for him, and he pays top dollar for the privilege of eating it. I eat clean: organic greens, lean proteins, superfoods… everything a respectable person should have. Meanwhile, this loser probably lives off fast food and instant noodles when he isn't swallowing what I leave in the toilet. So really, think about it: my shit is just the refined waste of high-quality nutrition. Compared to the processed garbage he shoves in his face any other day of the week, my crap might be the healthiest thing he eats all week. And that saying, “you are what you eat”, it’s fucking true. While I’m over here glowing and thriving on real food, he’s literally consuming processed crap through my waste. It’s disgusting… but also kinda poetic when you think about it. His whole existence revolves around recycling what my body has already rejected. I don't even feel bad taking his money. If anything, I'm doing him a favor, giving him access to quality ingredients his sad little life would never have. He thinks he's serving me by paying for my shit; really though? He's just confirming exactly where he belongs: at the bottom of the food chain, eating the crap from the people above him. And honestly? The best is knowing every time I flush the toilet, there’s some loser out there who would pay good money to catch it in his mouth instead. So yeah… if you ever wonder why I walk around with so much confidence? It's because men like him exist to remind me that no matter how high I climb, there will always be someone willing to lick the dirt off my shoes, or in this case swallow what comes out of my ass.