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Posted 2 months ago
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Okay, so I need some advice. I just started selling my shit online, and last week I shipped out my very first order. The guy got it a couple days ago and messaged me this morning to complain about the taste. I'm honestly feeling a mix of things right now. Part of me is genuinely upset because I want my customers to have a good experience.... But then there's this other part of me that just can't wrap my head around it. What the actual fuck did he expect? He ordered a box of my shit sent through the mail. Did he think it was going to taste like chocolate or something? It's fucking shit! Of course it tastes bad! That’s the whole point! Am I crazy for thinking this? Is this a common complaint you all deal with? Should I be doing something different with my diet to adjust the flavor profile? Because from where I'm sitting, sending someone a complaint message saying "your shit tastes bad" seems completely insane. Are there people out there buying literal human waste and expecting a gourmet experience? How do you seasoned sellers handle these kinds of messages? Do you offer a refund? A replacement? Or do you just tell them that if they wanted something tasty, they should have ordered from a bakery instead? I guess I'm just looking for some perspective here. Thanks in advance for any help. Your first mistake is caring what they think. Let me make this crystal clear for you: you are selling shit. Human excrement. The stuff that comes out of our asses because our bodies don't want it anymore. It is biologically designed to be repulsive. His complaint isn't valid; it's ignorant. He bought sewage and is mad it smells like a sewer. Don't you dare offer him a refund or a replacement. That just tells every other loser out there that they can whine and get free stuff. He bought shit. He got shit. If you want to send a response, you can send something like... "Listen, the product you purchased is human feces. Its defining characteristic is that it tastes repulsive and comes out of my ass. If you were expecting some kind of gourmet experience, that’s a failure on your part, not mine. My job was to provide shit, which I did. Your job was to understand that buying a stranger's waste online makes you a pathetic loser with no standards. Consider this your one and only lesson in reality. No refunds."
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