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Okay, so here's the thing: I sell my shit online. It started as a weird joke, but now it’s just a side hustle. Honestly, it pays the bills. Each dump goes for about a hundred bucks, sometimes more if I’ve eaten something specific for them. And yeah, I even have subscriptions now. One fresh delivery every week, automatic billing. The things people tell me after they… you know… eat it. They always want to describe it in detail. It’s fucking gross to even think about, but apparently my shit has this "rich, earthy" taste? One guy said it was kinda nutty and dense, really stuck to the roof of his mouth. Another told me it had a sharp, bitter finish that made his eyes water, but he kept going back for more. Some of them say the texture is thick and pasty, like clay or wet grain. A few mention chunks of undigested food, corn or seeds, and they act like it’s a prize. They call it "honest" and "real." Meanwhile I’m just sitting here eating extra fiber so their experience is consistent. Honestly? The money is insane for how little effort it takes. Just squat over a container once in a while and package it up. Disgusting? Yeah. But getting paid hundreds a month to take a crap? Can't really complain. But thinking about someone actually putting my shit in their mouth makes my stomach turn, like, I'm genuinely disgusted by the whole concept. But hey, if they're willing to pay for it, I'm willing to package it up. It’s easy money for something I was just going to flush anyway.