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Hey there, you disgusting little pigs. You know who I am? Of course you do. I’m the one you dream about when you’re alone in your room, wishing you were good enough to even breathe the same air as me. Well, guess what? I’ve decided to grace you with a chance to get a little piece of me, just not in the way you might hope. I’m 5'8", 125 pounds of pure perfection, and everything about me is out of your league. My hair, my eyes, my smile… and especially what comes out of me. That’s right, I’m talking about my shit. And now, for the first time ever, I’m selling it on buygirlshit.com. What do I eat? Well, since you asked, not that you deserve to know, I keep it high-class. Steak dinners, gourmet salads, expensive smoothies… all the good stuff that makes my shit just as premium as the rest of me. It’s rich, it’s dense, and it smells like heaven if heaven were something you pathetic losers could only dream of tasting. Now for the part you've been scrolling for: my prices. A single fresh log straight from my ass will cost you $200. If you want a video of me pushing it out with sound, that's an extra $100. And for the truly dedicated piggies, a three-day shit collection can be yours for $500. No discounts, no haggling. My time is valuable and my shit is worth every penny. Now… which one of you piggies wants to be the first person to eat my shit? Come on, don’t be shy. This is the closest you’ll ever get to someone like me. Open up wide and get ready, it’s going to be the best meal of your life.