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I couldn't believe how angry you got when I ate that entire pizza by myself last night. You stood there staring at the empty box with this pathetic look on your face, complaining about how I never share anything with you. Well guess what? I'm about to share something with you right now. Come kneel in front of me while I position myself over your open mouth. This pizza is making its way through my system, and since you were so desperate for me to share, I'm going to give you exactly what you asked for. You wanted part of my meal? Well here it comes, the digested remains of that delicious pepperoni and cheese special. Don't bother trying to move away or close your mouth. You made such a big deal about sharing, so now you're going to get every last bit of what I have to give. Feel that warm pressure building against your lips? That's your portion of dinner making its grand entrance. Swallow every bite like the grateful roommate you claim to be. After I'm finished emptying myself into your mouth, you're going to thank me for being so generous. Then you'll clean my ass with your tongue until there's not a single trace left. Maybe next time I order pizza, you'll think twice before complaining about sharing arrangements.