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Oh, hello... I am so sorry to bother you. My toilet... it is broken. No water, nothing. I have such a big problem inside me, and I really, really need to go. Please... can you help me? You are very kind man. I was thinking... maybe you let me use your mouth? Just for this one time, I promise. It would be so much help for me. If you say yes, you must lay down and open your mouth very wide. Then I will come and put my bottom right on your face. My soft cheeks will cover you, and then I will push all the shit out from inside me. It will go straight into your mouth. You must try to catch it all, okay? Do not let any fall on the floor. So you can imagine what is coming... for dinner I had lots of cheese, the yellow one with strong smell? And many pieces of cornbread. Also some old vegetables from my fridge that were a little bit soft but I did not want to waste them. So it might be a very thick and lumpy shit for you to swallow. And then... oh... many cups of coffee with much cream. So my stomach... it is very full. It feels like a big, heavy balloon that is moving and wants to come out. It will be very warm when it comes into your mouth. And maybe a little bit lumpy from vegetables. Please say yes? Please be my toilet just for now? You would be saving me from a very bad situation.