Caption
0
Posted 2 months ago
Categories
Ever wonder how you can be an even better paypig? Honestly, I shouldn't have to explain this, but since your little brains struggle with basic concepts, I’ll spell it out for you. Your sole purpose is to fund my lifestyle. Every penny you waste on yourself is a penny stolen from me. So let's talk about maximizing your tribute. First, your food budget. It's an embarrassment. You don't need gourmet meals; you need sustenance to survive long enough to transfer your paycheck. Go to the store and buy the absolute cheapest, most generic brand of everything. Better yet, just buy dog food. It's packed with protein and costs a fraction of human food. If that's still too pricey for your pathetic wallet, then start digging through garbage bins behind restaurants. It's free, and frankly, the moldy scraps are more than you deserve. Next, housing. Why do you need a whole apartment? Rent a single room in a house with ten other people. Or just live in your car, park it somewhere free and use gym memberships for showers (Do you even shower?) Cancel all your subscriptions: Netflix, Spotify, that silly little gaming pass. Your only entertainment should be staring at my photos and dreaming of a life you'll never have while calculating how much more you can send me. Get a second job. Or a third. Your free time is not yours; it’s mine, monetized. Drive for Uber on weekends, deliver food in the evenings, sell your plasma twice a week, your blood is probably the most valuable thing about you anyway. And let's talk about "luxuries" like new clothes or getting a haircut. Wear your clothes until they are literal rags. Who are you trying to impress? Not me, I already own you. As for your hair… grab some kitchen scissors and figure it out in the mirror. Your entire existence should be a finely tuned machine designed for one function: generating money for me. Any comfort, any pleasure, any shred of dignity is a resource leak that needs to be plugged immediately. Now stop reading this and get back to work or dumpster diving.
Login to comment
0 Comments
Be the first to leave a comment!