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*Sitting at the elegant marble table, I smooth out the crisp white receipt, my freshly manicured nails tapping lightly against the polished surface. The remains of an expensive dinner, truffle pasta, fine wine, dessert I barely touched, sit beside me as I position my phone to capture the perfect shot. The total glares up from the paper: $158.23.* Alright, paypigs. Look closely. This is what luxury tastes like, and it’s on you. *I upload the photo to my feed, making sure every digit of the total is crystal clear. My expression is cold, unimpressed. This is just another Tuesday for me.* You see that number? That’s what I spent tonight while you sat at home scrolling through my content, wishing you had the guts, or the wallet, to be worthy of my time. Pathetic. Who’s going to step up and cover this? It’s not a request. Consider it an invoice for the privilege of watching me live a life you can only dream of. And because I’m feeling generous tonight…the first pathetic little wallet who sends me the full amount, not a cent less, gets something special. A 30-second personalized voice message from me. Just for you. Think about it. My voice in your ears…telling you exactly what a good little piggy you are for paying my way. Or maybe I’ll tell you how worthless you are without your money. Depends on my mood. But don’t take too long thinking. There are always other desperate wallets waiting in my DMs, ready to empty their accounts just for a crumb of my attention. So go on. Open your banking app. Type in the numbers. Make it fast, because once someone else sends it, your chance is gone. Tick tock, piggy.