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I can't believe he actually did it, but then again, I knew he would. He’s been so desperate for any scrap of attention from me that when I told him to get on his knees and eat what I left in the toilet, he didn’t even hesitate. Just another Tuesday for my little friendzoned roomie, always willing to prove just how far he’ll go for a girl who will never, ever see him as anything more than her personal pet. Of course, it was absolutely massive, thick, coiled, and still steaming. After that all-you-can-eat buffet yesterday with the girls, my body had been working overtime. It filled the bowl almost to the water line, a dense, heavy log that made him gulp just looking at it. I told him not to be shy, this was his reward for being such a loyal little roommate. He had to put his head deep into the toilet to eat it. I had to help him along, of course. He was hesitating, so I just placed my bare foot on the back of his head and gave a firm, encouraging push. "Go on, you can do it," I said cheerfully as his face sank into the bowl. "Don't forget to get every last bit, that's a good boy." The water splashed up around his cheeks while he choked it down. Honestly, seeing him struggle like that just made me smile wider. This is what true friendship looks like.