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Oh my god, are you serious? Mom just told me she had to put you back in diapers because you wet the bed again? For the second time this week? I can't believe this. Look at you, standing there with that stupid plastic crinkle every time you move. You're supposed to be older than me, and yet here you are, padded up like a toddler who can't control their own bladder. Wait until my friends hear about this, they're going to die laughing. How does it feel knowing you’ll be sleeping in Pampers tonight while I'm in my big girl bed? Maybe we should get you a pacifier too, since you clearly can't handle being a grown-up.