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Honey, we need to talk. I was at my ex's today. I know how this is going to sound, but I had sex with him. It was a complete accident. A total freak accident. I was walking passed him, and I tripped over his dog's toy. I fell forward, right onto the couch where he was sitting. And I... I landed right on top of him. On his lap. My skirt rode up, and I wasn't wearing any underwear. I just fell... directly onto his penis. It went inside me. Deep inside. I tried to get off immediately, I swear! But my hands were slippery from the humidity, and every time I tried to push myself up, my hands would slip on the leather couch and I'd just... fall back down onto him. It was like a terrible bounce house. For like, ten minutes straight, I was just bouncing up and down on his dick, trying to get off but just slipping and falling back onto it. I was panicking, telling him to help me, but he just sat there frozen. And then... he came. Inside me. It's insane, I know it's a million-to-one story, but it's the truth. I accidentally had sex with my ex because I couldn't stop falling on his dick.