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Wanna see something funny? I turned my jerk of a boss into my garbage container. He spent the last three years telling me my work was trash, so I figured "you know what, I don't care. I'm turning you into my garbage bin". Now every time I crumple up a used snotty tissue or toss out an old lunch, I drop it right inside him. It's exactly where he belongs. The best part is he's still conscious in there.. The second best part is, he can't even complain, just sits there and takes it. Poetic justice, don't you think? All that yelling about deadlines and now his only job is to hold my garbage. Oh, it gets even better. I'm getting a dog next week. A big one. You know what that means, right? He's gonna be dealing with all the shit I have to clean out of the backyard. All those little presents left in the grass are going straight into him. Or when he has a warm bag of dog shit dumped on his head every evening after our walk. And summers coming, it's going to get really hot outside, and inside there, and he's really gonna bake in there... he'll get to enjoy the full aroma of his new purpose.