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You know, I was just thinking about how much of a hassle it is to take out the trash. It's, like, so gross and inconvenient. And then I had the most brilliant idea. I've decided I need a human garbage can. For real. Like, someone who would be totally dedicated to just... being my personal bin. Think about it. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! You'd get to be part of my daily life in the most intimate way possible. Every candy wrapper, every used tissue, every little bit of trash that comes from me would be yours to cherish. It's not a bad deal, honestly. You'd have a real purpose. No more worrying about bills or what to wear. Your only job would be to hold my garbage and look cute doing it. Well, as cute as a bin can look, I guess. So, who's feeling generous? Who wants to make my life infinitely easier and become my literal garbage? Don't be shy. It's for a good cause, my comfort