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You know, I've been thinking... what kind of man decides he'd rather be a pair of panties than live his own life? Like, you're literally pressed against my ass all day, and that's your whole existence now. I mean, I get it, my ass is amazing. It's actually pretty comfortable having you there. But seriously... was it worth giving up everything just to be this close to me? You must really have had nothing going for you, huh?