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Posted 3 months ago
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Good morning, team. I’m pleased to announce a new initiative designed to foster stronger interdepartmental collaboration and offer accelerated career advancement opportunities for our female employees. Starting this quarter, all female staff members are eligible to participate in our Quarterly Performance Incentive Program. Participation is entirely voluntary and takes place after standard working hours. Here’s how it works: Each day after 5 PM, eligible participants may proceed to the men's restroom facility located adjacent to the main warehouse floor. There, they will provide oral services to male colleagues on a strictly anonymous basis. This is entirely unpaid. For each act of service completed, the participant will earn one performance point. These points will be tracked confidentially by HR. Please note that points reset at the end of each fiscal quarter. At the close of the quarter, the female employee with the highest accumulated point total will receive an immediate promotion and corresponding salary adjustment. All other participants will not be compensated for their involvement in the program. This is a fantastic opportunity for driven individuals to demonstrate initiative and dedication to company morale. We believe this program will greatly benefit both individual career trajectories and overall workplace synergy. Your wife has been a remarkably consistent participant in the Quarterly Performance Incentive Program, though unfortunately, she has yet to secure a top ranking. Despite her dedication, often spending extra hours at the facility and servicing well over a thousand colleagues to date, her efforts have repeatedly placed her just outside the promotion threshold, typically finishing between second and fourth place each quarter. Her commitment is noted, but as per policy, only the top performer receives advancement.
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