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Welcome home, honey. I see you've noticed the little surprise waiting for you on our bed. That's right, those are for you. Every single one of them. I've had enough of your whining, your tantrums, and your complete inability to handle even the smallest bit of responsibility. You want to act like a baby? Fine. From now on, you’re going to be treated like one. The pacifier is for when you start complaining, and the baby oil is for when I change you. This isn’t up for discussion. You’ll be wearing these until you learn how to be a man.